


brunets have more fun

by oh_no_oh_dear



Series: tungle dot hell [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, HYDRA fucking sucks the end, M/M, Secret Relationship, Undercover Missions, Undercover as a Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 19:07:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10472025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_no_oh_dear/pseuds/oh_no_oh_dear
Summary: Prompt: "Sam: We shouldn't do this.Steve (his Heroic Jaw of Justice™ protruding with Annoying Inconvenient Righteousness™): We have to."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Steve Rogers is good at undercover, except the complete opposite of that.

Sam wasn’t sure that he’d heard correctly.   
“Sorry, Director-- you want me to _what_?”  
  
Fury was already holding out the folder to Sam, and he waved it irritably.   
“You’re going to be partnering with Rogers on this assignment. Black tie. Subtle profile, no need for shadow conditions. Don’t make me repeat myself again.”  
  
Sam looked at Steve standing at attention beside him, his own folder held primly behind his back. He was definitely a little pink in the face, though.  
  
    “And... St-- Commander Rogers requested me specifically, you said?” Sam said slowly, taking the folder from Fury. Fury didn’t even spare Steve a second glance, merely nodding.  
  
    “Rogers says you two are a good team. Isn’t that right?”  
  
    “That’s right, sir,” Steve said gravely. There was an uncomfortable pause as the three of them ignored Steve’s pink cheeks. He coughed once, twice, awkwardly.  
  
    “Well?” Fury said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.  
  
    “Sir?” Sam asked, straightening his stance. Something about Nick Fury made you never want to slouch.  
  
    “Why are you two still here? Don’t you have an assignment to prepare for?” Fury said dryly, dismissing them by turning his computer and clacking away at the keys.  
  
Sam waited until they were in the elevator to turn to Steve and hiss “What the _fuck_ , Rogers?”  
  
    “I know, I know--”  
  
    “We said we’d keep our personal lives and work lives separate! That means you don’t _request me_ for missions.”  
  
    “We _did_ say that, but ... I dunno, when I got the mission parameters, I kinda panicked and uhm. Asked for you.”  
  
Sam allowed himself a moment to be touched that Steve’s first thought in a moment of crisis was to reach for Sam. Then he got pissy all over again.  
  
    “What could have made you so jumpy, Steve? Honestly.”  
  
    “Let’s... just go over our folders tonight, okay?”  
  
    “Fine. It’s your turn to cook, which means--”  
  
    “I know. Takeout.” They exchanged a fond smile, and then straightened up and moved apart subtly as the elevator doors slid open and a few S.H.I.E.L.D. agents got on with them.  
  


* * *

  
    “Alexander and Rory Phillips,” Sam read aloud, glancing between the two folders. “This is why you freaked out?”  
  
    “I didn’t _freak out_.”  
  
    “It’s just a role, Steve. You’ve gone undercover as part of a couple before...”  
  
    “Not since we started seeing each other,” Steve mumbled, looking frankly ridiculous in his shower cap. They were going undercover, and Steve was becoming a brunet to fit the part. He also dreaded putting in the contacts that would tint his eyes green, but it was all for the good of the mission. Sam, for his part, grumbled considerably because he’d had to shave off his goatee and wear glasses, as well as a small silver hoop in one ear. (”It makes me look like I’m an undergrad again,” he'd groaned.)  
  
Steve moved to scratch under the shower cap, but Sam gently caught his hand, stopping him.  
“Hey,” he said, more seriously, “is that what’s bothering you? Pretending to date someone else? It’s just acting.”  
  
Steve shrugged miserably. “I’m no good at acting,” he sighed. “I’d just be missing you the whole time, wishing it was you on my arm.”  
  
Sam shook his head, disbelieving. “You are genuinely the corniest man on the face of the planet.”  
  
    “You love it.”  
  
    “ _Eehhhh...”_ Ignoring Steve’s pretend outrage, Sam continued, “I don’t know why Fury went along with this. We shouldn’t do this.”  
  
Steve tilted his head, all righteousness and bravery. “We _have_ to, Sam.” The effect was rather ruined by the soft _pfffff_ of air squeezing out from under his shower cap.  
  


* * *

  
    “Can I get you another drink, Alex?” Steve asked, leaning in so that his lips almost brushed Sam’s ear. For all Steve opined his poor acting, he was playing the part of the lovestruck newlywed to perfection. He’d barely kept his hands off Sam-- or rather, ‘Alexander’-- all night.  
  
    “Oh my god, Rory, are you trying to get me drunk?” Sam laughed, shaking his head. The other couple they were standing with chuckled indulgently, their arms around each other. They were a striking pair, the woman almost ethereally beautiful with sleek blonde hair, the man... much the same. Surprise, surprise, they were the undercover Hydra agents that Fury had sent Sam and Steve to suss out.  
  
The woman kept giving Sam the once-over in a way that made his skin crawl, but he grit his teeth and hoped it looked like a smile.  
“So, Alexander,” the woman said, “how is it that you know the Senator?”  
  
    “I did some freelance work for her a few years ago,” Sam said breezily. “We kept in touch, and since Roro and I just moved nearby...” Sam didn’t have to worry about the Senator corroborating his cover story; she’d been the one to get in contact with S.H.I.E.L.D. in the first place. Steve’s mouth twitched a little at the nickname Sam had given him, but he continued to play his role well. He even snaked his arm around Sam’s waist during one of the woman’s lingering looks, which Sam thought was a little... much.  
  
    “And how about you, Rory?” the man asked Steve, tipping his glass in recognition. Steve cleared his throat and Sam steeled himself to save Steve from an awkward lie.  
  
    “I just go where he goes,” Steve laughs. “A little like a lost puppy, if you will. I’d follow him anywhere.”  
  
Sam was impressed; Steve sounded absolutely sincere, and the hand on his hip squeezed lightly. The blond couple cooed over them again, warming to them. Sam and Steve played along, and it was surprisingly easy to play the married couple. Sure, they had been casually dating for a couple of years, but...  
  
_Who ‘casually’ dates for a couple of **years** , actually?_ Plus, they lived together. Hmm. Sam... felt like he was missing something here.  
  
Before Sam could ponder much longer about that, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Smiling apologetically, he pulled it out of his pocket, he glanced at the screen and sighed as though put-upon.  
“Sorry,” he murmured, holding up the phone and pointing. His screen showed a picture of an older black man with the contact name “[Dad]” underneath. “He’ll want to know how to move went, I didn’t call him last weekend...”  
  
    “He’s gonna blame _me_ for that one, I bet,” Steve sighed, chuckling. Sam rolled his eyes and answered the phone, moving away from the group.  
  
    “Dad? Hi, what’s up?”  
  
_“You and Rory can’t call an old man?”_ Fury asked, using their agreed-upon code. (Update?)  
  
    “Sorry, pops. We had a lot of stuff to unpack in the new place, you know? Almost done, though!” (Gathering intel. Marks close to trusting us.)  
  
    “ _When can I come see y’all? Your mama worries you’re getting skinny without her cooking.”_ (Anything usable? S.H.I.E.L.D. agents ready for backup.)  
  
    “Hmmm. You and ma free on the 5th? Me and Rory were gonna try a new restaurant-- we keep hearing they do a mean squid stew.” (5 minutes. We’ll try to get them to mention Hydra.)  
  
    “ _All right, Alex. Don’t you cancel on us, now.”_ (Exactly 5 minutes. Get it done.)  
  
    “’Course not, pops.” (Roger that.)  
  
As soon as Sam rejoined Steve and the other couple, he could tell that the 5 minutes weren’t even needed. Steve’s body language was tight, radiating fury in the way that only a certain evil organization could bring about.  
  
    “Alex, honey,” Steve said, his jaw tight, “Trigg and Steph were just telling us about another event.” Uh-oh.  
  
    “Were they?” Sam asked, the warning in his tone evident to only Steve. “Oh-- dad and mom are dropping by on the ... 4th,” he amended, mentally calculating how much time had passed since he’d spoken to Fury.  
  
    “Ah, okay. We’d better get the place ready before then,” Steve murmured, relaxing significantly when Sam looped his arm through Steve’s.  
  
    “So-- what’s this about a party?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrows playfully at the blonds. They looked slightly uncomfortable -- which wasn’t surprising, since they weren’t keen on inviting a Black man to join their little squid Nazi club. But then Trigg smiled sharkishly.  
  
    “Yes. Well, we have an _exclusive_ little club here in town; we were so hoping that you’d join us. We were going to join them in a few minutes, in fact.” For some reason, his eyes kept darting down to Steve’s chest -- which would usually be understandable (have you _seen_ Steve’s chest?), but Trigg hadn’t shown much interest in either of them until just now.  
  
Sam chanced a glance at Steve’s suit jacket, and with a sick lurch in his stomach, he saw it. A green contact was stuck to the dark material, which meant that Steve had one blue eye, and based on his size and the way he’d undoubtedly stiffened up at the word ‘Hydra’ while Sam was away, the two blonds had put two and two together. They weren’t inviting them to a party, so much as they were trying to lure Steve and Sam to their deaths.  
  
    “Looks like you dropped something, _Rogers,_ ” the woman hissed. Steve’s hands balled into fists immediately, blowing any kind of cover they might have had left. Sam often said he wasn’t a spy, but Steve really, _really_ wasn’t a spy.  
  
He was pretty good at punching, though, so he lay the man out with a clean sock to the jaw. Sam, never being keen on punching women, settled for sweeping her legs from under her, even as she scrabbled in her small purse for her pistol.  
  
    “All right, that’s enough,” Fury said, pushing his way through the crowd. “Not bad, Wilson. Rogers, you did... about as well as expected.” Steve took no offence, merely shrugging as he bent over to haul the groggy Trigg to his feet.   
  


* * *

  
    “That was pretty good, Steve. At least until your damn contact fell out,” Sam said later, stretching his aching back as Steve pored over the new folders Fury had handed them.  
“That whole ... _I’ll follow him anywhere_ thing. Cute. Convincing.”  
  
Steve looked up, his dark hair still offputting. “Convincing? It was true.”  
  
    “Mhm.”  
  
    “Sam, hang on-- look at me, c’mon. What do you think this is?”  
  
Sam looked up from the yoga mat where he was awkwardly tilted forward, working the kinks out of his lower back. “What _what_ is?”  
  
    “This. Us.”  
  
Sam frowned. “What? I mean... we’re. Dating? No?”  
  
    “Yeah, but-- Sam, I’m _in this._ I meant it, I’ll follow you anywhere. As long as you’ll have me.”  
  
Sam didn’t know what to say to that, and after a pause, Steve came to kneel next to him on the mat. “I’m gonna be corny.”  
  
    “Noooo...”  
  
    “Yes. Having you on my arm felt right. Being able to kiss you, dance with you and not worry about anyone judging me, felt right. I don’t _care_ about work knowing any more. I just want to be with you, in any and every way you’ll have me.”  
  
    “Pervert.”  
  
    “Wh-- not like _that!_ Well. Yes, also like that, but... I’m trying to say I love you, Sam.”  
  
    “Wow.”  
  
    “And I want to be with you.”  
  
    “I’m...”  
  
    “And I think I want to get married.”  
  
    “You what?”  
  
    “And adopt 3 kids.”  
  
    “Wait wait wait stop stop. How long you been ... I dunno, writing ‘Mr. Steve Wilson’ all over your binder?”  
  
    “How long we known each other?”  
  
    “Okay, I need a moment. You gave me a lot of things to respond to, man. Run them by me again.” Sam smiled slowly and Steve rolled his eyes, knowing that Sam was just fishing now.  
  
    “Fine. First: I love you.”  
  
    “Right. Me too. Next?”  
  
    “I want to be with you.”  
  
    “Done. Moving on?”  
  
    “I... I want to get married.”  
  
    “Okay. Next?”  
  
    “Wait, _really_?”  
  
    “Yeah, sure. You gotta ask more romantic, though. And get ma’s permission.”  
  
    “Of course, Sam. I can call her n--”  
  
    “Sit _down_ , Rogers. It’s 11 at night. What’s next on the list?”  
  
    “Kids.”  
  
    “Can I talk you down to _one_ to start with?”  
  
    “One, and a dog?”  
  
    “One, and a _cat.”_  
  
    “I hate cats.”  
  
    “But you love _me_. You _said._ You a liar, Rogers?”  
  
    “No! Of course I’m n--”  
  
    “I can’t believe I’m getting a cat,” Sam said excitedly, yelling in surprise when Steve suddenly pulled him down on the mat, covering his face and neck with overjoyed kisses.  
  
  
  
  
  
( “Contact me when you have news that me ‘n’ the entirety of the team _hasn’t known for 4 years_ , Rogers,” Fury would drawl boredly when Steve finally worked up the nerve to tell the Director about himself and Sam.)


End file.
